Silent book

Little friend who never replies
Never interrupts, never lies.
How I value our companionship
When everything in my life turns to shit.
While my other friends judge and compare
You sit there silently, always there,
Listening to my thoughts and cares
From harsh judgements I am spared.
You would never do as they do
You would never compare me to
Their horrible lives they think are worse
Than any single of my curse.
They don't get it when I hide,
Lonely away from my demise.
Trivialize all that is wrong
Not noticing all that I have done.

screams

I sit here in the silence
But all I hear is screaming
Wishing I was anywhere
Anywhere but here.

Passenger accused of driving

Broken twisted metal,
Piercing torso's of flesh
Puncturing my heart.
Passenger accused of driving,
I lay here bleeding, dying.
Looking forward to the destination,
Unaware of your leaving
Me to drip upon the ground
The result of your careless actions.

Broken glass littering,
Slashing skin and veins
Veins oozing out.
Paralyzed and waiting
As you stand there blaming.
Harsh words scratching
Out of a bruised and broken throat.
Credit where credits due
Actions and words mismatching.

hurt

Heart of cold
Self imploded
You have never been there
Like I have for you.
Self absorbed reasons,
Oblivious of the hurt
How could you do this?
Blind to my bleeding.
I march up those lonely steps
A prosecuted victim
Condemned because I feel so much
The twisted knife's so deep.
They say I'm harsh in my hurting,
But can you really blame me?
To hurt is to love
And to love is to hurt
But only half I find.

Faults

Rip my heart out
Show you my insides
Do you see what I do?
A bleeding carcass
Worthless nothings
Nobody cares.

Do you care?
Can you see me?
Will you flinch
If I showed my face
The mask covering my souls gone
Broken, damaged.
Can't help but look.

Would you look past it?
Ignore my faults.
Are there too many for that.

We are nothing but for our faults.

Teamwork

Groups, teamwork, united fronts.
Lies to compact hate
You do not help, yet steal the credit
I hate you bitch.

Evil Bitch-Monster from Hell

Fuck you bitch.
You should've stayed dead.
Hit you with a shovel and buried your head.
But now you've come back from your late demise
Smoldering head with smoldering eyes.
Don't you dare
Preach about God to me
He is nothing, you are nothing
A broken dead tree.
Forcing down poisons
Viscous and red
A skeletons hands to a skeletons head.

Return evil spirit to your emptying grave
Where the worms will eat and we will be saved

I would sink with you

I would sink with you,
Down into the ocean
Breathe my oxygen into your lungs,
Watch you float away,
As I forever sink down.

I would sink with you,
Fall out of skies of blue,
Washed away by the storms
I'd catch the lightening meant for you
Forever cold so you are warm

I would sink with you,
Lend you my own warmth,
Huddle here endlessly
Just us two
Im here hopelessly

Mer

Dryad

If I could

Contemplation, thoughts arising,
If I could, would I?
Would I sit here all alone,
My presence calming others?
Were I gone would they cry,
Each tear a blame of silence.
Forever in the dark am I
If I would, could I?
Endless noise deafening,
Yet I cry alone,
Myself the only company,
A bubble Screaming out.
If I could, Would I?
Do they know about my pain?
Do they just ignore it?
Waving it away with hands
Dripping of my blood.
They have no ears, only mouths
Sightless eyes all staring,
Would those eyes shed tears for me
If only that they knew.
If I would, could I?
Endless drama blamed on me,
But nothing else brings attention
If I could would I?
Am I doomed to live my life
In a silent nightmare of dreams.
The question asks the price to pay
To end my suffering.

Attention

Pushed out, Stolen away
You always seem to have it your way
My tears are all but turning to dust
As day by day you punish my trust,
Your successes are better, your fails are worse
Each word you mutter making a curse
forever in the background, silent as lies
Forever waiting for your screaming demise

The wolf and the Snake

Starving of winter
The wolf of a need
Howling a question
Can you hear me
Can you hear me.

The snake as a trap,
Disguised in the trust
Answers bleakly to the wolf
Come near me
Come near me.

Starving from life,
A lonely abyss
Whispers the wolf
I need you
I need you.

Lashes whip out,
The snake wanders close
All the time hissing
I want you
I want you.

No warmth of the snake
Can thaw the wolfs bones
Yet still it hangs near
Stay with me stay with me

A trust is broken,
the snake slips away
Foresaken the wolf
Dies on the wind

Lone

Speaking in words
The cruelty is known to yet
Yet is issued uncaringly
Shadows of the wolf
Drawing back knowingly
Sure it will not find a friend here.

Empty inside

I present for you

Hollowed

Emptyness creeping back,
delusion of leaving it behind
Wanting to fight
Hopelessness converting
Fear into nothingness.
The blackness is coming
Wishing i will not drown

Call me weird

Sanity. Measure it. Are you sure that you fit in??
Because i sincerely hope that you do not.
If you are sane then get out.
Sanity is boring and I hate it.

Celtic

Lines swirling,
Dancing weaving,
Starting in the middle,
No beginnings
No end.

left

Broken promises,
left a-lying
How could you?
so death defying

Do You Want Me?

Nightmares hidden, riding high.
Do you want me?
Flying darkness Commanding the sky
Do you want me?
Shadows whirling through my head
Do you want me?
Asking a question forever being said
Do you want me?
Gaps a-gaping, distance looms
Do you want me?
Translations needed, shaking bones
Do you want me?
12 years a shadowing past
Do you want me
Mourning forever those years lost
Do you want me

Blind

Gangly legs crossing spindly lives,
moments awkward in their demise,
Looking across through a wall of ice
Stunted words, nothing concise.

As you are

Shaved head
Eyes of brown,
Drawing in,
Seductive in laughter.
Artists stroke
Pouring soul onto paper
Mesmerising in detail.
Crinkling in corners
Smiles of innocence,
Hidden experiences showing.

Hidden glances undetected,
Wishing you could see.
Excuses visiting often
Wanting you to see.

Aimless arrorw

Arrows protruding,
Aimless shot
Pain of the far.
Reaching out
Cannot touch.

Gaps looming,
fingers reaching.
Only touching if he reaches back.
Uncertainty trembling.
If only, if only.

Lost

Darkness invading,
Tips staining,
Dripping,
Thick drops staining the floor.

Black rivulets,
Darkness being met,
Mixing,
Mingling lost potential in store.

Swirling colours
Parts of me being lost
Draining away
Emptying me out.

Home?

Darkness all around,
Streets of emptyness surround me,
As I walk the long walk home.
The asphalt glistens,
A slippery oil slick.
Forever spreading outwards.
Gaunt trees loom,
their gaunt fingers reaching to the sky,
Searching for the absent moon.
Sharp keening of the wind sharing their ache.
As I walk the long walk home.
Remnants of windows wink at me,
Behind the boards blocking them from the world.
The flow of gutter water giggling,
Always a spectator.
As I walk the long walk home.
The wind chills as it passes me,
Merciless in its fun.
As I walk the long walk home.
To a place that never exists.

Implosion

Frustrations closing in,
there is no room to move.
Claustrophobia boxing me
Chaos inching inwards.
Implosion

Selfish

selfish undermining,
wills uncertain
delta roads.
Life is selfish.

Accusations blinding,
pinpricks of perception,
universe revolving.
Life is selfish.

Survival thinking,
Digging in,
drawing blood.
Life is selfish.

Escape minimal,
Contemplations striking.
To escape from selfishness
The body has to die.

Nastys

Fiendish little Nastys talk
Gibbering, like it's Nasty's sport,
From Nasty mouths nasties fly
Stinging all the passers by.
Nastys spread about the lies
Staring with their nasty eyes
Gossip, lies and nasty betrayal
Stinging Nastys with stinging tales.
Masked Nastys looking nice
Will just sting all their friends twice.
Nasty words, hitting out,
Flying out of Nasty's mouths.
Nastys don't show their nasty heads,
Backstabbing all their friends instead.
Nasty fiends with nasty friends
Nasty Nasty round again.
Then the Nastys go to play
In the schoolground in the day,
To the mall, in the park,
Little girls these Nastys are
Hidden away, behind nice faces
Popping up in nasty places

Structure

Claustrophobia skrinking
Open areas confining.
Rigidity frustration
Unchanging masses
Stubborn in place
Drones

Facade

Closing eyes,
thickening the mask.
Hoping no one will see me
Darkness trading for who I am.

Picture frame of me,
webs of distortion
Unrecognised.
shattered mirror.

Your eyes reflecting,
green mottled mess.
me as you see
mistakeable

Water always wins

Stream rushing,
Plunging headlong.
Cannot breathe, swept away.
Surface fading,
Losing hold.
Cannot be this
What they are expecting.
Knowing i will fail.
That the water will win

Contribution

loud ringing,
mangled thoughts,
calm riding out the storm
Contagious riding.
Stubborn digging
refusing to heal,
the pleasures prefered
exaggerated feelings
excuses from life.

Contributing nil

Leave me here

Spaces in emptyness,
Made from, residing in nothing.
Spurred from the real,
Leave me here.

Appearances from wishes,
Power stemming from thoughts,
hiding from the continuous nightmare
Leave me here.

Shadows seeping through,
The radiance killed
By waking forces
Please leave me here.

Sinking into my coma
Of shining knights and camouflage
needles piercing the layers
Leave me here.

Demons of reality under the guise of friendship
Tearing the thin fabric
A void ripping free
Taking me from here.

Diary

Red bound leather,
Dreadful secrets leaking.
Pain misery torment hiding,
White pages binding.
Promises of watchfulness
Over the dead and dying.
Ugly rotting skulls laughing,
Becoming tired of their screaming,
The premature are waiting,
'Til they are well and truly dead
Black ink and blood is leaking
From the spaces in my head.

Failure

Black lines from reddening eyes,
The hurt escaping, showing.
The arrows are your words
Losing meaning in the cacophony.
Clashes causing headaches,
forcefully stemming the flow.
Failure.

Pressure

Crushing pressure
breath is gone
drowning.
Wishing it to stop.
Slow.
Heavy weights,
unmovable in entirety.
Faking the motions.
Masking the shivers.
Struggling to hold.

Prominence reigning

Dark things mingling with blood,
Digging it in,
Draining it out.
Multiplying by threat.
Bleeding feeding the shadows.
Prominence reigning.

Happiness of the forgotten

stinging of eyes,
reddening into water.
No reasons, causes.
Holding back.

Cannot remember,
Times of passing.
Wanting to miss the pain.
Wanting to break the ignorance.

Wishes

Gnawing ache,
out of reach.
Wanting causing pain.
Unapproachable.
One sided affair,
silent glances not returned.
gleams meeting darkness.
Nothing.
Clouds parting.
Bridges built,
tentative.
growing stronger.
Wishes of more.

torn

Out of the dark,
I leave her behind,
Torn apart by state of mind.
I worry night,
I worry day.
I try to keep the shadows away.
They hunt her,
they stay in her mind.
Why did I have to leave her behind.

moontime

Lights shining,
silver light flowing,
starting the change.
Pure of animal,
Shifting in moonlight.
Lithe and strong.

Purity of form,
Melding into the world.
Effortless beauty,
Unseen by mundane.
Forever hidden from unseeing eyes.

Howling lonelyness,
Shivers in the darkness.
Forever to hunt alone.
Obsolete.

Artificially here

Hooked up,
wires to machine,
determining life.
Trapped here.

Flick of a switch,
fading away,
one way, cannot turn on.
Only off.

Beeps constant,
stuck there,
vegetables unmoving.
Artificially here.

washed away

Pumping, swirling,
Leaking through cuts,
thick, pooling.
Precious losses.

Taking the pain,
watching it swirl down,
washed away.

Heart flame

Heart dripping,
facade of red.
No longer pumping.
Stilled in motion.

Misshapen, blockages,
stopping what is needed.
Whithering away.
Shadows to blackness.

Easily forgotten,
Lost among the wreckages
Of others ships.
Burning.

Flame is bright,
Glowing in blackness.
Fireblankets to smother,
the flame is fighting.

Life

Green light,
Filtered chlorophyll,
bathing rocks and water.
Effulgence.

Sparkling, dripping.
Playing over rocks and moss.
Collage of light.

Wind singing, swaying.
Gentle caresses.
Flitting leaves.

Peace without silence,
still thoughts.
Untainted.

Evils

Stuck.
Biting, nibbling away.
Rats, gnawing at bones.
Sirens blazing but no one cares.

Ants squish, burn die.
Replaced by more ants.
No grief among the ants.
the earth grieves not for the loss

Dogs are sniffing for something,
Never existed.
Moles in Molehills
calling their work mountains.

Evil believes it is righteous,
Smearing the mud,
Calling it blood.
Raising the fear.

Snakes in the grass
Slither away.
Promises to return,
But the heart is hopeful

Thoughts

Impacts,
Spirals spinning.
catch myself.
Stop, pause button.

Shadows spreading.
Not as quick,
The thoughts pull me under,
to stop thinking.

Sleep is peace.
Simple thoughts.
Vacuous.

Which Way Is Up?

The dark place.
Enclosing pressure.
Encompassing.

It's dark in here.
No balance,
Shadows destroyed the light

Waves in an ocean,
Crushing down,
Drowning.

Lost,
Directions are spinning.
Which way is up?

Alone

Cold sweeps,
numbness spreads.
Cannot wake, cannot sleep.
Limbo.

Bad places in the clouds.
Storm brewing.
thunder lightning,
swept aside.

bubbles of shadow,
escaping.
Glimmers, echo.
Tidbits of a taste.

Shadowed wings,
Confined, no glimmers left.
Broken feathers
Beauty Gone

The Bear

Bears reaching for honey
Isn't theirs
pushing away by bees.
Ranks, higher than,
Resists change.

Bear with that unnatural.
Taints running true.
The wolf admires the bear,
but cannot touch.
Dirty with the unclean thing.
swiping of claws, bear to the innocent.

shadows sweeps away,
Barriers encompassing.
No turning back.
Damage is done.
The wolf is left to find own pack
Away from the remains
Of what the bear used to be.

Wants

Eyes shining,
Lusts wanting,
Unrequited.
Beats pumping blackness.
Users.
Pathetic in need.
untouched.

Mood

Mood swings

Click different

Changes

Happy Sad

Good bad

Swing Swing

Frustrations

Frustrations, slashing paint

Art of creating. Destroying.

mood has swung. Pendulums

Up down. Higher gives a further fall

Analyse

Analysing

Little point.

Watching for hidden meanings

Assuming purpose

entertainment not analysis