If I could

Contemplation, thoughts arising,
If I could, would I?
Would I sit here all alone,
My presence calming others?
Were I gone would they cry,
Each tear a blame of silence.
Forever in the dark am I
If I would, could I?
Endless noise deafening,
Yet I cry alone,
Myself the only company,
A bubble Screaming out.
If I could, Would I?
Do they know about my pain?
Do they just ignore it?
Waving it away with hands
Dripping of my blood.
They have no ears, only mouths
Sightless eyes all staring,
Would those eyes shed tears for me
If only that they knew.
If I would, could I?
Endless drama blamed on me,
But nothing else brings attention
If I could would I?
Am I doomed to live my life
In a silent nightmare of dreams.
The question asks the price to pay
To end my suffering.